Tharunka’s 2017 News Predictions

 Online sub-editor, Dominic Giannini, has the (very accurate) inside scoop for what’s going down in 2017…

 

 

Trump gets Stalin in Buzzfeed Quiz: Can we guess your favorite fascist?

 

 

Manly Sea Eagles disappoints fans by naming Nate Myles in Starting Squad

“What a grub,” NSW Coach Laurie Daly was overheard saying.

 

 

BREAKING: Randrick Racecourse Cleared of Problematic Smell – Local Authorities point to UNSW’s College Students for the outbreak of noxious substance.

“A thick paste of Mountain Dew and Dorito’s covered the walls” our investigative reporter stated.

 

 

Clive Palmer Found conscious, disoriented, after consuming fourth consecutive KFC Zinger box

 

 

UNSW Art’s Student Laughed out of Class after Pulling Out Windows Surface

“I dunno what it was,” original reports stated, “but it definitely wasn’t a MacBook.”

 

 

BREAKING: Tony Abbott Issues Cease and Desist for Boaty McBoatface Cocktail at Watson Bay Hotel

“My stance on boats is already well known,” the former Australian leader said.

 

 

Trump Pays for American Sex Workers to Urinate on Whitehouse Bed

“It was only fair that the job was done by American workers,” the President exclaimed.

 

 

Wikileaks Releases Trump Private Emails: No words over three syllables found

 

 

Malcolm Turnbull Diagnosed with Split Personality Disorder: Jobs Unable to Reconcile with Growth

 

 

Cory Bernardi publishes “alternative facts” on website