July 2014

Ammy Singh


Jean Paul Sartre and Scott Morrison: peas in a pod?

Jean Paul Sartre and Scott Morrison: peas in a pod?

A book club in Sydney’s Inner West has lauded Scott Morrison as a savant following the Minister’s comments on the seminal philosophical work of Jean Paul Sartre, ’Being and Nothingness’.

The Minister for Border Protection and Immigration was in Newtown this week with NSW Premier Mike Baird, jointly unveiling a new childcare centre which will double as a border protection facility enabling toddlers to stop the boats via remote controlled drones, when he made the comments regarding the phenomena of being and nothingness which jointly constitute the human condition.

Michaela Vaughan


Minister for Women launches ‘Tony’ doll for girls

Prime Minister Tony Abbott announced today that the federal government will be funding $10 million dollars on a new “Tony” doll for young Australian girls. All female kindergarten students enrolled from 2015 will be gifted a doll on the first day of school. The Minister for Women was very excited to be a part of this new initiative, with the aim of making a generation of “honest women”.

Matthew Baker



Following proclamations that the boats have been successfully stopped, Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Immigration Minister Scott Morrison are heading to Perth this week to solve Australia’s other national maritime crisis – shark attacks.

An unnamed government source has told Tharunka that the two will meet with Western Australia Premier Colin Barnett, and they will likely sign off on a new deal to trial extended border protection measures along Australia’s west coast.

Thomas Mitchell



It’s easy to satirise The Daily Telegraph. The News Corp paper has ceased any pretence of fairness or balance. Screaming headlines during the 2013 election – like the notorious “Kick this mob out”, “Does this guy ever shut up”, and the priceless, and pretty weird, “Hair brained; A fly takes a liking to Kevin Rudd’s head yesterday” – show how flippantly Murdoch and many of his editors wield the political axe.

But, who’s laughing? Well, there are the cynics laughing at the Tele, and the fools who lap it up. More than that, though, there’s the Rupert Murdoch and the Tele itself.

Lauren McCracken 

The lady doth bake very much.

The lady doth bake very much.

Joining us for her regular dessert column is glass ceiling smasher and crazy old deadwood, Bronwyn Bishop. This week, the outspoken monarchist, evidence ignorer and racist lady teaches us how to make her famed Cheesecake Of No Confidence.

Step 1.

Take your COMCAR to your nearest David Jones Food Hall for a quick grocery shop. When cooking, I try to use the best ingredients available, so I always look for brands that have been awarded a Royal Warrant by Her Majesty The Queen. For the biscuit base, you will need some royally endorsed bickies, which can only mean Walkers Shortbread. $24.95 a tin may seem expensive, but it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.